Randomness..

Today has been surprisingly,-completely relaxing. (I know Sunday's are supposed to be the "day of rest" and all-but it rarely seems that way for me.) There's always the upcoming school/work week to worry about, and finishing homework-doing laundry-ect... it usually makes me cringe. Even this morning as we were all getting ready for church, it was strangely peaceful. No screaming kids, no endless nagging to go to Primary, no spilling all over church clothes 5 minutes before walking out the door...none of it. And through Sacrament, I kept waiting for it to come, the smashing of someones head into a pew, or not sharing of snacks that makes one or both of them scream...again nothing. Matter-of-fact after the talks were over and we had closing prayer, I realized I'd been in such deep thought about how wonderful and loving the day was- I hadn't HEARD the talks! I reassured myself by realizing that I had probably learned a much more valuable lesson- taking time to appreciate the present... and also soaking in the peacefulness the day provided. It's just so nice to feel truly rejuvenated when beginning the new week.

Things are still up in the air about Clint's work. We are determined to try everything we can here before sending him long haul. He had a promising encounter with a local company on Friday and we are PRAYING they call on Monday to offer a job. It would likely be long hours at work, but at least he'd be able to come home at night and share dinner and/or bedtime with us. Hopefully it will work out. ;)

Cara gave me a bit to ponder on this morning. I was reading out in the living room at about 8:00 this morning when I heard quiet sobs coming from the hallway. I knew it was her and tried to quiet her before she could wake Clinton. She threw her arms around me and whispered something in my ear. I couldn't hear her at all and had to ask her about 3 times to repeat herself. I asked her if she had a bad dream (as this usually is the case) but she told me 'no'- she said
"I miss my grandma Joan."
-For those of you that don't know grandma Joan, she is my mother - she also died 8 years ago.
I didn't think I heard her correctly. We have talked about Grandma Joan, but lately haven't said much. She again told me that she missed her and that she wanted to go to "her house." I then tried to comfort her -she was still quietly crying- by telling her that we were already, in fact, IN her house. That the house we are living in was grandma Joan's house before she went to Heaven. That calmed her as she thought about it, and she dropped the subject after stating,"I just love my grandma Joan."
I wasn't sure what to make of that, still am not sure really. I've always believed that children could pass back and forth between the veil. Especially at night or while sleeping. It's something I gained a testimony of when Clinton was in the hospital and sedated 20 hours of the day. I knew at times he was not "with me" in spirit. And at those times I was incredibly relieved. I have never , though, had any such "feeling" with Cara. Until this morning.
It could just be wishful thinking, of course. I've always grieved the fact that my mother would never get to be "a grandma" in the Earthly sense. I'd never get to watch her interact with my children. But, the feeling that possessed me at the genuine nature of Cara's words made me immediately realize that even though I may not see it, my mom does "know" my children. Probably better that I do. The Spirit was strong within me- and the thought of Cara visiting with her, or even just "knowing" of her- who she's named after -(Cara Joan)... brought me solace. It was an interesting few moments, at very least.

SOTD- I've been in a mellow mood the past few days, maybe it's the beautiful weather putting me at ease. I don't know, but I love the song "Pieces" by Red. They are a fairly new band Derrick introduced me to, that I have grown to love. They're Rock- mostly. But there are a few songs on the record that are soft and... soothing almost. They are a mix of Linkin Park (the rock-techno aspect)/ One Republic ( for the Piano and strings intertwined within a good beat)/and Dashboard Confessional (vocals). I really like the CD much to my surprise. I don't know why I am so surprised- Derrick has never steered me wrong. He hit the nail on the head this time though. I LOVE LOVE LOVE rock music blended with Symphony. I used to play the violin and much appreciate the difficulty behind it. So this for me is the perfect blend of flavors-if you will. ;)